You and I.

Jesus, you are breathtakingly and indescribably beautiful!

I am so amazed by you, and humbled that you call me yours.

I love being swept away in your arms as you romance me.

You whisper words of poetry.

My heart leaps at just the mention of your name.

You’ve captivated my heart.

Your arms hold me still.

Fear and doubt subside in your presence.

Knowing you, Jesus, Is the best thing I know for sure.

Your face is majestic.

The Heavens above dance with splendor.

Stars skip across a beautifully painted sky.

As we laugh together.

Inseparable.

You and I.

A New Identity

Here's my latest thought. After reading through Romans yesterday, I am seeing more and more clearly how sin is rooted in our struggle with our IDENTITY. At covenant, Taylor Ross has been speaking to us about the book of Romans. This week, he taught  us that it is what Jesus has done, not what we have done or are doing that saves us. The great mystery is that we are saved through faith in Jesus. We cannot depend on ourselves and we shouldn't be fighting the sin in our lives. We must surrender to Jesus and let him do the work. He will set us free.

Where can this knowledge of our identity come from?

"Or have you forgotten. that when we were joined with Christ Jesus in baptism, we joined him in his death? For we died and were buried with Christ by baptism. And just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glorious power of the Father, now we also may live new lives.Since we have been united with him in his death, we will also be raised to life as he was. We know that our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin!" Romans 6:3-6

"When he died, he died once to break the power of sin, But now that he lives, he lives for the Gflory of God, So you also should consider  yourselves to be dead to the power of sin and alive to God through Christ Jesus" Romans 6:10-11

We as humans struggle with our finding our identity. But as a child of Christ, I know where my identity belongs. Who I am is Christ in me. I have been created in the Lords image, and He reveals my identity to me. I am no longer a slave to sin! I have been buried with my old self and an now a new creation; CHRIST IN ME!

My dear friend Elijah shed some great insight on these thoughts of identity. He brought up Jesus when he was being tempted saying, satan did not first tempt Jesus to turn stone into bread, rather, he started with, "If you are the son of God..."  Luke 4:9
See, he questions his identity!

We have been set free from these struggles by the power of Jesus' blood! It's a comforting thought to realize that I have assurance of where, and in whom, my identity lies.

Beauty In Weakness

God finds beauty and strength in my weakness.....

"The foolishness of God is wiser than the wisest of human plans, and God's weakness is stronger than the greatest of human strength. Remember, dear brothers and sisters, that few of you were wise in the world's eyes or powerful or wealthy when God called you. Instead, God chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise, And he chose things that are powerless to shame those who are powerful.God chose things despised by the world, things counted as nothing at all, and used them to bring to nothing what the world considers important. As a result, no one can ever boast in the presence of God."1 Corinthians 1:25-29

This passage has really spoken to me today. I am amazed at how often the Lord turns things around from how we perceive them and believe them to be as a reality. Weakness is seen through human eyes as such a  negative quality, yet it is in my weakness that the Lord sees strength. How beautiful is that?
I am now beginning to grasp the beauty of weakness.When we are inadequate, it is then that we lay down our selfish pride and can boast in nothing but the Lord's goodness, faithfulness, and wisdom. Any boasting to be done on my my behalf is a true boasting in the Lord and His power!

It is when we are most broken and cracked that the light of the Lord is able to shine through and radiate in us.
May all praise, honor, and glory be to the Lord who uses my weaknesses and inadequacies for His glory!
Lord, I pray that you humble me and use what little I have to offer you to perform wonders beyond my limitations or comprehension. God, I don't want to stick you in a box. Break through the walls of my unbelief and doubt that I have created, and show me how you  can use my weaknesses to further your kingdom so that I may boast all the more gladly in YOU!

A Beautiful Disaster.




Reconciliation. The word is nearly as large as the vastness behind it's meaning.
The question is how? How do we reconcile with others when our hurt seems larger than an ocean, and heavier than the milstone someone has placed around our neck as they tossed us out to sea?

Rwanda. The place I call a beautiuful disaster.
The people who truly know what it means to reconcile. A country who has shown me how to forgive, love, and move forward to a brighter future.

Tonight at school, some of my friends from Rwanda conducted a pannel describing the history, pain, and injustice of the Genocide which happend in 1994. Through everything this country has been through, where more than 1,000,000 people were killed within 100 days (on average, 10,000 a day), the now say, "We are not Hutu, or Tutsi.  We are unified together as the people of Rwanda."
Does that not just send chills through your body? To hear my friends speak who have seen their entire family slaughtered, say, "I have forgiven you, you are my brother."
Beautiful.
Indescribably and stunningly beautiful.

I want a heart like that. The Holy Spirit has given me that heart, and I rejoice!
May we all consider how we can reconcile, love, and forgive those who do not deserve it.
For freely, freely you have recieved, freely, freely give!

P.S. Tonight as I listened to my friends from Rwanda speak, I got to sit next to Dr. Burks (the president of Harding University), and hold his hand during prayer =)

Here are some pictures from when I visited Rwanda!




A picture overlooking the capitol of
Rwanda, Kigali



A church where many woman and children
sought shelter. They were all killed during
The Genocide.



Alex and I were devestated after
Seeing where so many lives were lost





Rwanda: A beautiful place with a bright future up ahead



The Lord has spoken.

Listening. I sigh. Why is listening so impossible sometimes?
The Lord has always spoken to me. Unfortunately, more often than not, all I hear is the chaos of my life, and I fail to remember what the Lords faint whisper in my ear sounds like.
But now I am still.
I am listening.
He has spoken.
I have heard:

~Trust in me Natalie
~I will be your comforter
~I know you dear child, for I created you
~You are made in my image, and you are breathtakingly beautiful in my eyes
~You are so precious to me
~I love you
~ Recieve my grace and love, it's my gift to you
~You are forgiven
~Set your mind on things above
~I have incredible plans for you
~I don't make mistakes. I am God.
~Don't look to others for approval. I have already accepted you just the way you are
~My Spirit lives in you
~I delight in you
~You offer something to this world that no one else has
~You are changing lives one little heartbeat at a time

A New Day

Awaken before the rising sun. Breathe in. Breathe out. I am alive and well.

My toes are bare outside the covers. I wish they weren't.

I am drawn to sit silent in the Lord's presence. Even if just for a short time.

The chilling breeze tousles my hair. I slide my fingers gently through it and off my face, exposing my insecurities.

The walk is long, or so it seems.

Snowflakes, each unique, swirling, falling all around me.

When I am certain no one is watching, I stick out my tongue to catch a few before they fall, and am blissfully happy.

I laugh out loud, but no one hears.

Simple pleasures.

Joys unspoken.

Tomorrow brings forth a new day.

It's the simple things.

It's the simple things that made today beautiful.

*A sweet message from my older brother reading, "I made a snow angel in Canada and named it Natalie."

*My mom telling me she loves me, and knowing she means every word.

*Being fortunate enough to eat 3 meals today, one of which included chinese (my favorite)

*Getting 4 FREE books in an education class (Goodnight moon, Corduroy, Ask Mr. Brown, and Miss Tizzy).

*Having a jacket to keep me warm in this freezing weather.

*Making myself vunerable enough to cry in the middle of class just because I'm sad. And being ok with that.

*Receiving meaningful hugs from dear friends.

*Singing praises to God.

*Realizing this truth: God delights in me. In ME =)

*Cookie dough log with my roommate.

*Running.

*Learning.

*Meditating on this scripture from a friend: Isaiah 25:1
O LORD, You are my God; I will exalt You, I will give thanks to Your name; For You have worked wonders, Plans formed long ago, with perfect faithfulness. 

*Knowing that though I have no idea what my future holds, I know exactly who is holding it in the palm of His hands; and it will be a beautiful future.

Today was a blessed day =)

The Lords Love Song

I don't know what it is about today, but I found myself really missing Matt.
Instead of getting consumed in my own self pity and sadness, I decided to turn to the Lord who has always loved me, despite what a mess I am.

God.
My lover. My everything. Will you write me a love song today?
I want you to romance me.
I want you to fill my empty heart with a deep and rich love for you.
Give me desire to long for you.
I want to know you imtimately...

Open the eyes of my heart Lord.
I want to see you.
Please help me to set aside other distractions in my life.
Help me to never love anyone or anything more than you.
No one can write my love story better than you can.
For you are love.

God is love.
Wow. I wish I could fully grasp just what that means.
You are the love of my life.

Thank you for your love song to me Lord.
I am delighted when you romance me......